Let me just start by saying the past week has been really tough for me. It started wonderfully! I finally thought something was developing with a guy I have been interested in for a very long time. My excitement quickly dwindled though as I found out that I was wrong. I should have been ready for it; it's happened before. But the amount of emotion that results from these experiences still shocks me every time. Not only have I lost someone who I invested a lot of time and hope in, but I've also lost a best friend. I miss him more than I can even express and wish I could stop the tears that seem to appear at the most inopportune times. I sometimes feel like I seem to find success in every aspect of my life but love, which unfortunately, is what I want most. Along with this, I lost my best girl friend to Texas since she graduated, I spent several unsuccessful hours (due to lack of concentration) studying for finals, and I recently got sick. I know, woe is me right? I must sound so pathetic. Why is it so hard to find the good in life when going through trials? I have the same conversation with myself every time that I experience something like this and I can't seem to come up with an answer that sticks. It's not the end of the world. Things will improve. I will move on. I know this from experience. So why can't I immediately move from point A to point B without all the wallowing in sadness and misery?
After this week, I can offer one answer. I've been studying about adversity lately and I caught a glimpse of why these experiences are important when I read a talk by Elder Neal A. Maxwell called Enduring Well. Let me share a couple of quotes from it with you:
"Anne Morrow Lindbergh wisely cautioned: 'I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable.'"
"Edith Hamilton observed: 'When love meets no return the result is suffering, and the greater the love the greater the suffering. There can be no greater suffering than to love purely and perfectly one who is bent upon evil and self-destruction. That was what God endured at the hands of men.'"
"Many...experience unreciprocated love. This is part of coming to know, on our small scale, what Jesus experienced. Part of enduring well consists of being meek enough, amid our suffering, to learn from our relevant experiences. Rather than simply passing through these things, they must pass through us and do so in ways which sanctify these experiences for our good (see D&C 122:7). Thereby, our empathy, too, is enriched and everlasting."
Now think of that last quote and my recent experience. Keep in mind that this talk was the first I came to in my studies. Coincidence? I think not. The Lord knew that I needed to hear something related to love and suffering and boy was that quote powerful for me. Through this experience, on a very small scale, I'm coming to understand a bit more about what my Savior went through; possibly even what I've put him through at times. I'm also developing more empathy for others. Empathy is powerful, I've seen the importance of it in my job when counseling with students who have gone through extremely hard experiences.
The last quote also reminded me of a quote by Elder Holland that I love. He said, “you can have sacred, revelatory, profoundly instructive experiences with the Lord in the most miserable experiences of your life.” I think this is what it means to have trials pass through us in ways that will sanctify us for our good. When in the midst of trials and suffering, we will receive revelation and instruction that will make us better people and more capable instruments in the hands of the Lord. I want to end with another comforting quote by President Uchtdorf:
"Often the deep valleys of our present will be understood only by looking back on them from the mountains of our future experience. Often we can't see the Lord's hand in our lives until long after trials have passed. Often the most difficult times of our lives are essential building blocks that form the foundation of our character and pave the way to future opportunity, understanding, and happiness."
I am grateful for the gospel. I am grateful for the people who have made a positive influence on my life. And I am grateful for adversity.
